On Being GenderQueer


Some say it’s a trend. Some say it’s a phase. I say, this is me.

Gender Queer is a term used by people who identify both as male and female or neither male nor female.

Me personally? I’m both some days and neither other days. My gender identity tends to be fairly fluid and changing. However, I don’t consider myself to be Gender Fluid.

Confused yet? Good. Gender Identity, Gender Expression, and all other Gender related things are confusing. Not just for you to understand, but for us to figure out, too.

One thing is for sure, I’ve always known I wasn’t a girl. This doesn’t mean I’ve always known I was a boy. It means I’ve always lived in this gray area where I barely know what the hell is going on with my own identity. Am I trans*? Am I overthinking things? Am I stuck in some sort of unending existential crisis? Who knows!

Gender Queer has become an area I am comfortable with. It seems to define where I feel most comfortably.

The thing I do think that the general public needs to understand is that Gender Identity and Gender Expression are two completely different things.

On the rare occasion, I dress more feminine (as can be seen in the above picture). I was dressed for a wedding. Many people can see this image as feminine, tomboy, but otherwise being a GIRL. Nothing can be further from the truth. It doesn’t matter if I choose to wear a dress and stilettos. On the inside, I do not consider myself to be a girl. I do not consider myself to be a boy, either. I am Gender Queer. Call me He. Call me She. I’ll respond to both. However I choose to dress and wear my hair does not change how I identify my gender.

If a transman wears a dress, does this make him less of a man? Absolutely not! The clothes you put on your body do not have to align with your Gender Identity. I know that I dress to please myself, not make a public statement. And I’m sure I’m not the only one who does.

One thought on “On Being GenderQueer

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