Bipolar Disorder: Why I’m not ashamed to have it

I have Bipolar Disorder and I’m not ashamed of it. I’ve faced the stigma from people who don’t understand mental health.

I have a pretty dark history in regards of mental illness. I’ve been in my fair share of crisis stabilization units, treatment centers, and hospitals. I went through a really rough time for quite some years before I became stabilized and a contributing member of society.

tumblr_nl1vk5lADk1uon72ro1_540Sometimes I feel bad that I have this illness, especially when my partner is left picking up the pieces when I’m in a depression. I know it’s hard for her to see me that way, and it’s hard to be laying on the floor unable to get up and knowing that there’s so much I need to do.

For the last month or so I’ve been experiencing a pretty dark depression. It took grip of me when I saw my abuelita on a trip to Spain. She is frail and declining in health. I knew it was the last time I would ever see her. It sparked sadness that quickly turned in to depression.

With the help of my partner and an incredible therapist, I have come out of the depression. I am in a bit of an upswing, but it’s not concerning…at least not yet.

However, even with my history, even with the hard times I still face, I’m not ashamed to have this illness. I’ve spent so much time being mad at myself for having it. I’ve spent so much time thinking I was a burden to others. Realistically, though, Bipolar Disorder is a biological illness more than a psychiatric illness. If I had diabetes would I be as ashamed as I have been with this illness?

An illness is an illness, and I think it is left up to those of us who are diagnosed on how to approach it. Do we get sad about having an illness, or do we use it as an advantage? My experiences can help educate people who are just starting to be diagnosed. My knowledge can help educate people who hold a negative bias towards mental health issues. My mind sees the world differently, creatively, and it helps give a different perspective to these “earth people” around me.

And you know what else motivates me? There are so many famous, talented, and wonderful individuals who have Bipolar Disorder. They’re not pariah’s of the earth. They are famous! So having Bipolar Disorder can’t be so bad, right?

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10 thoughts on “Bipolar Disorder: Why I’m not ashamed to have it

  1. dyane says:

    Check out my good friend Blahpolar’s blog – it’s my favorite out of 80 or so blogs I read! She’s queer and has bipolar and is brilliant – she’s a total inspiration.

    https://theblahpolar.wordpress.com

    take care and thanks for your post – it’s refreshing to read & I like your attitude. We don’t have to be ashamed of having bipolar – not one bit.

    Liked by 1 person

      • dyane says:

        Thanks so much! I’ll tell you something I’ve never shared with anyone, not even with “blahpolar” who I adorewith all my heart even though we never met.

        Her blog’s old URL was “bipolardyke” and I almost didn’t check it out since I was straight (& despite having a gay best friend in high school and a close gay friend now) I didn’t think that I’d be into her blog due to my being straight.

        Because of that narrow-minded thinking (if you can even call it that) I almost lost out on something precious, so it taught me to look at any blog that might be of interest, not “sure things”! 🙂 Thanks so much for taking a look at our blogs and I wish you the best!

        Like

      • dyane says:

        President Blahpolar!!! I love the ring to it! I couldn’t agree with you more and she’d love to read that about her, esp. for the Middle Earth reference, although she just wrote me that praise about her (well, maybe just my rather overly effusive praise) makes her squirmy! 😉

        Like

      • dyane says:

        Sorry if this is a repeat – I’m having a computer hiccup!

        President Blahpolar!!! I love the ring to it! I couldn’t agree with you more and she’d love to read that about her, esp. for the Middle Earth reference, although she just wrote me that praise about her (well, maybe just my rather overly effusive praise) makes her squirmy! 😉

        Like

  2. kingmer says:

    I can understand that. I think a lot of us fall in to the old trap of sticking with what’s comfortable.
    But look at all the new content you discover by checking new things out!
    We should always seek to expand our minds. 🙂

    Like

  3. Zoe says:

    Welcome to the Tribe, Kingmer. 🙂 You had me at Domestic Violence Advocate because *points to self* I’m a survivor of that and I can’t ever be thankful enough to those who work in anything related to helping people or raising awareness or doing ANYTHING about it.

    Like

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